Sunday, November 12, 2006

Sundays I Write Letters

RE: SUNDAYS I WRITE LETTERS

Dear Mom,
Congratulations on beating KBezzie to the comment. Walking is a big city thing because generally there’s good public transportation. Although you can hop on a bus or train, you still have to get to a stop or station. And to grocery shop, you roll a cart down the sidewalk.

Sincerely,
T-Bud


Dear KBezzie,
Those of us without children do define those of you with children solely on your kids. Haha. Oh, I kid because I kare.

I’m proud to be a single non-breeder. That’s my status on “MySpace.”

Sincerely,
T-Bud



RE: NABLOPOMO

Dear Mom,
I do sleep. My sleep has been pushed back by a couple of hours due to my work schedule and the fact that about 6 days a week I do not need to be up before, well, noon. (I get up around 8am.)

Congratulations once again.

Sincerely,
T-Bud


Dear KBezzie,
You are the first participant in NoBloCoMoMo. I like saying that.

I did not create the seal. I chose it from the NaBloPoMo website. I chose it based on the fact that it looks like a Nanook. Are you aware that they are no longer the “UAF Nanooks?” The are officially the “Alaska Nanooks” because UAF wants to claim all collegiate sports for the state. I told Birdie she should consider transferring.

Sincerely,
T-Bud



RE: THINGS I’LL NEVER LEAVE BEHIND

Dear Birdie,
I’m glad that you’re not a liar, because then your pants would be on fire. I know that you were always jealous of Aunty Flabby. You created a bond with Pig only to mimic the bond Spider and I had.

Pig’s a good cat, nonetheless.

Sincerely,
T-Bud


Dear Birdie,
You corrected that before I could pull out my red pen.

Sincerely,
T-Bud


Dear KBezzie,
Congratulations. I knew that someone was going to mention that she slept on my butt. So what? Do we need to discuss what Springs does to you at night?

Sincerely,
T-Bud


Dear Mom,
I know she was getting old. Don’t encourage KBezzie. She’ll want to eat Pig.

I hope you had a good day at work.

Sincerely,
T-Bud


Dear KBezzie,
That would be dishonoring the furry dead. When you're old and peeing on things, I will never, ever fault you for it.

Sincerely,
T-Bud



RE: THINGS I’LL NEVER GET TIRED OF HEARING

Dear KBezzie,
That’s double ‘O,’ as in “Ooo-ooo-ah-ah.”

Sincerely,
T-Bud


Dear Mom,
You can be Gammy.

Don’t ask me about the blood disorder. I’ve only repeated what I’ve been told. Sometimes I wonder if people are doing to me what I enjoy doing to them—leading them to believe things that aren’t quite true.

Sincerely,
T-Bud



RE: BANANA STICKERS

Dear KBezzie,
I am starting a mental list of these great minds. Soon, I will have enough for a movement or revolution. It’s a pleasure to have you on this list.

Dearest Belita also thinks Bobby Banana is cute. It’s Anthony Apple. I’m so, so sorry.

Sincerely,
T-Bud


Dear Mom,
You know that my bowl is not a joking matter. If you broke my bowl, I’d be devastated—until I collected enough stickers to make another one.

Sincerely,
T-Bud


Dear Melissa,
First, welcome. Thank you for leaving a comment.

Please watch out for those stickers! I wonder how long it takes to digest them—everyone knows that it’s absolutely true that it takes 7 years to digest gum.

Sincerely,
T-Bud



RE: ANTHEM MAGAZINE ONLINE TREATMENT

Dear KBezzie,
We thought about that. We want our magazine to be more of a conversation. Commenting on an article should be more like participating in a dialogue.

Thank you for offering a suggestion on this.

Sincerely,
T-Bud



RE: CH-CH-CH-CHECK IT OUT NO. 05

Dear Mom,
I’m a step ahead of you. Please see Birdie’s comment.

Sincerely,
T-Bud


Dear Birdie,
You miss my gifts, no? Who else gives you racy holiday cards? Oh! I miss giving these gifts!

Don’t get a papercut trying to makeout with your paperdoll.

Sincerely,
T-Bud


Dear KBezzie,
You’re Mrs. Depp bag gift to Birdie was pure genius. In Budnik Christmas history it will be right there next to the Old Navy Tech vest Gene gifted me.

Sincerely,
T-Bud



RE: 10AM TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 2006
Dear KBezzie,
Yes, a guilt-tripped comment is better than a spontaneous one (when no one in my class comments).

Sincerely,
T-Bud

2 Comments:

At 1:16 AM, Blogger Bezzie said...

When I'm an old woman I shall piss on pictures of non breeders wearing red and purple.

 
At 4:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK! KBezzie is gettin old already!!! And how will you tell the non-breeders wearing red and purple from the breeders? Love, Mom

 

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